k fed up

I was awake until 3:30 in the morning, after having gone to bed at 9:30pm.

THINGS I DID FOR SIX HOURS IN BED:

• Finished reading The Twelve, by Justin Cronin – something like 300 pages.
• Tossed and turned.
• Kicked off the blankets.
• Rode a dozen slick waves of night sweats.
• Got up to pee 37 times.
• Felt my uterus cramp off and on for the eighth day in a row with no action.
• Furrowed my brow over the unholy sounds coming out of my gut.
• Wept over the fact of the night and any possibility of meaningful sleep slipping away.
• Jolted extra-awake at the thought of dozens of things I need to accomplish today before the market.
• Berated myself for not just getting up and doing those things then.
• Stared at the moon through the crack between the window and the shade.
• Flipped the moon the bird.
• Cursed the train idling on the tracks five blocks to the west, its engine vibrating and making a sound similar to a leaf blower. 
• Put my face in my pillow and garbled fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK.
• Fell asleep twice, but woke up within seconds of touching down in that velvet cone of silence.
• Punched myself in the face.

RELATED:

• Today I am a zombie (minus the eating my fellow humans characteristic). 

I wouldn’t test that if I were you.