OH, COME ON GROUP HOME MANAGERS
Get your people under control. The driveway F-bomber is scaring all of the neighborhood kids. Don’t make me come over there with my broom.
As she says, getting old isn't for pussies
We think my MIL may have Parkinson’s on top of her Alzheimer’s and diabetes and depression. I wonder how much longer she’ll be able to take care of herself. I’ll be amazed to see a year.
Flavor of the day:
tall freshly-ground agita with unsweetened triple fat fear and a double shot of not good enough. STFU subconscious.
To the little girl screaming "COCK COCK COCK...
irregardlessly: While her father dies of embarrassment saying “Clock, honey, the word is clock.” I love you. In 2006, my 3.5 year-old daughter marched back and forth in front of a cuckoo clock on the wall in the foyer of the funeral home during her grandfather’s wake singing “I want that big brown cock! I like that big brown cock! Lookit that big brown cock! I want that big brown...
What Marley says is true.
There are soulless, undrinkable soy milks in the world.
Wow, that whipped cream was delicious on top of...
doublejack: Oh, just crying at my desk again....
I'm such a fruit
I just ordered four semi-dwarf antique apple trees (Wolf River and Oxheart Pippin), which I’ll espalier along the new driveway turnaround, creating a living fence between the front yard and the street view. The back bed along the deck is too awkward a shape and location for fencing so I can’t plant food there again because the hell ass monkey groundhog who lives under the deck will...
Yes, I did just stand in front of the open fridge...
That's one hell of a printing system you have...
I dreamed I had to go to Jason’s to deliver my files for this business card he’s printing for me. But I didn’t have to drive. I just had to log into his server and look into my webcam and all of a sudden I was standing in the courtyard of his huge warehouse and he was giving me a big hug. Did you know that he has a wood-burning printing press on the third floor of his building?...
I'm more of an assquake man myself.
morrowplanet: However, I have very much enjoyed today’s festivities. Now, that’s a sentiment I can get behind… ar ar ar. I’ll show myself out.
constantflux: The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove~ Dead...
skating along the edge of a work-related crisis of...
and so I’ll be over here in the corner sucking on my thumb and twirling my hair around my finger with my other hand and probably crying, too. hate feeling in over my head.
My boobs refuse to sign the release form ... sorry...
(via nolagrrlnyc) mine too.
Who do y'all use to print business cards?
looking for cheap, online, but better than Vistaprint whose colors are always way too dark and this latest run is off center.
Dear sweet baby Jesus
please help me to never write in the passive voice. (off to fix a bunch of words)
LaLaLaLaLa I can't hear youuuu.....: OMG I forgot... →
You can eat them with savory toppings too, of course. I just never do (which is why I forgot to mention it earlier). Any combo of any kind will be fabulous (you’ll want to cook some of your ingredients first, though, just fyi): onions mushrooms loads of swiss cheese raclette cheese Parmesan… In season now: asparagus! Sauté pieces in a little butter then sprinkle with coarse salt...
Fish Tacous Interruptus
We were just about to call Lila home for dinner — the fish crispy and caramelizing in the broiler, and the red cabbage, white onion, and cilantro marinating in a bowl with a little lime juice. I hadn’t yet warmed the tortillas or cut up the avacado. Spanish rice filled the house with its tomato-y sweetness. The neighbor whose son Lila was playing with called to ask if one of us could drive...
LOL white people dancing
(via atsirhc) Hey now, I have some moves that contradict my lack of melanin … just sayin’.
I have no idea what I'm doing with this one...
Do you bring other people up or down? This may be the most important question...– Roger Ailes (via nolagrrlnyc) True story… conversation I had just yesterday about recognizing that I was in a sort of Debbie Downer cycle over the winter, and how changing my thinking/reacting has done wonders for my career and my relationships. Now I’m painfully aware of when...
I'm sorry, Ron
Stupid iPhone app screwed up the reblog. Will fix it when I get home…
You were only waiting for this moment to arise...
In my early morning dream
my feet were all itchy and I pushed off the blankets to look at them and I was wearing those fucking shoes.
Those abominations are *shoes* like Velveeta is...
CLEARLY ABBY NEEDS A GOOD SPANKING!
Are you with me Morrow?