yeah… maybe this whole eating healthy and drinking lots of water and staying away from most of the popular poisons is just not worth it because every inch of my body and soul hurts.
I know, I’m a big baby, and by the time Friday rolls around I’m going to be all…
woooo, check me out with my belt buckled when I’m sitting down for the first time since August!
I’m not tooting every time I stand up from my chair like a vintage pickup truck backfiring!
I’m not narcoleptic! (No, Kelly…you did not accidentally type necropheliac…quit quadruple-checking. What is wrong with you?!)
It’s still hard and I’m hungry and my body hurts and I want to plaster it with band aids made of sourdough bread and lasagna with extra cheese and wash it all down with a martini and then a glass or three of Pinot Noir.
I’ll just be over here sipping on my gingery, garlicky, seaweedy broth with little bits of butternut squash and kale.
I really appreciate it.
I need to do some novel research and am not a strong science reader.
Any suggestions for non-fiction books about
- quantum physics
- parallel universes
- virtual reality
that a non-science-thinking goombah like myself can read and understand?
I missed my entries this week for both “A Sense of Place” and also “Tumblr 52 - Vices”.
I planned on doing them this weekend but I was at my dads and lost track of time. I’m bummed about this as I knew what both my entried would be!! I guess I will have to make it up this week!
I haven’t done mine yet either, but these are self-imposed deadlines that can make it not so fun to produce the work, so I’m trying to just get to it when I can get to it and not give myself so much shit.
My really freaking bad attitude.
Fixing my bike might help with that.
I hear exercise fixes just about everything.
but it was just buried in my monster pile of unsorted mail at the foot of my desk for the last two weeks.
Guess I can make the car payment now.
Thinking I might make something like that for dinner, but all the recipes I’m finding call for gross ingredients like canned cream of mushroom soup. gag.
and Lila is all of a sudden freaking the frakk out because the house we moved out of four years ago is FINALLY on the verge of being purchased by some lucky bastards who are getting it for exactly HALF of what we mortgaged and shit don’t I wish we stopped paying on that house a hell of a lot sooner than three years into trying to unload it because then maybe we might have some damn money to pay the taxes we’re going to owe on the difference. So she’s crying because “I love that house. It’s a much better house than this house. I want to move back to that house right now.”
Of course, she was three when we moved and has no recall of how miserable we were having to drive an hour to get to anything. Or how she saw a lot less of her Daddy because he spent two hours in the car every day. Or how no matter what we did for filtration, the water always smelled exactly like an old man’s Pabst Blue Ribbon shits. Or how ridiculous the school system was with their big levy tax hikes but no library. Or how we couldn’t play outside in the yard or work in the gardens without the neighbor’s twenty five inbred border collies running the fence line barking incessantly in a desperate attempt to fulfill their breed’s purpose, which is to herd. And be heard.
The only thing I miss about living out there is that big garden in full sun with deep clay soil that grew amazing vegetables, but the reality of working in that garden was not pleasant. See dogs, above.
Oh, and I miss being able to see the stars at night.
But, the theme for this day is carved into my nerves now. The girl will not stop talking and crying about it because her beloved Daddy just left to drive down there to finish emptying out the barn. Let’s just not even think about where he’s going to PUT all of the crap he brings home today because there is nowhere to put anything and so it will be piled on the outside of the garage with all of the other crap we have nowhere to store — cementing our position as the neighborhood hillbillies. Exactly the kind of shit I was hoping to get away from when we left that house.
My frustration is just growing and growing and growing and oh, holy hell this is going to be a very long day. One more tear out of that girl and I swear I’m going to I don’t know what, but it’s not going to be good unless it involves a double-strength, spicy Bloody Mary.
I just hit reset and all systems are go.