In good company
I see I wasn’t the only sucker wide awake at 3am. That seriously sucked, and every time I started to doze back off, the dog jumped off the bed to scratch. I don’t know when he started doing that, but I think he thinks he’s being considerate to not scratch and shake the bed violently. Unfortunately, he usually ends up leaning right up against the edge of the bed, so I still get earthquaked awake. In between I was freaking out about the 70 minute presentation I have to give in three weeks that I haven’t begun to write, never mind build the visuals, and now I’m taking this poetry class again, and have a this musical in which I play three distinct characters, and have to learn four songs — one in Portuguese. No. For real. One in Portuguese. Oh, and still haven’t done my taxes, and the garden is upchucking so much food that needs to be processed, and market work is getting left in the dust of my mental breakdown due to the impending separation, maybe divorce. I could not shut my brain off, but refused to get up and work on anything. Now I need to get packed up for the market, and try to not behave as if Roseanne Barr hit me in the head with a cast iron skillet, because that’s pretty much what I’m feeling like at the moment. I made coffee and it’s the weakest pot of coffee ever. How does that happen? I measured. I ground it the same way I always grind it. Coffee gremlins had to have taken some out of the press before I added water. Today is going to be 90 degrees with 85% humidity, so that should be loads of fun working outside. I hope I don’t say anything mean to anyone who asks me why we don’t have bananas and avocados at our producer’s only market, because they don’t think they should have to make two stops if they’re going to support local farmers. OK, OK, nobody has said that this season. Yet.
Hey, all you insomniacs… let’s all go try to be functional members of society today, shall we?
I’ll require a bucket of syphilis coated broken glass and rusty nails to dip the eye-fucker in before penetration.
I had a full-blown sciatica flareup again last night, and it was so bad that I decided to take one of the muscle relaxants from my episode last summer. Now I have a serious case of cotton head. The fogginess is so intense, that I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.
After Lila left for the bus at 10 till 7 this morning, I climbed back into bed and slept for two more hours with the window open and a cool breeze blowing across my face. The neighborhood was strangely silent for a Thursday. No lawn care equipment motors running, no street sweepers, garbage, or recycle collection trucks. Very little traffic. Just the sweet sound of crickets, birds, cicadas, an occasional child’s voice from an open window. I heard all of that in my sleep, I think.
When I finally made myself peel away from the mattress and took the dog for his morning walk, I was actually chilly without a sweater. My sour cherry tree lost about 1/3 of its leaves overnight, and the tree line out behind us is beginning to turn color.
Winter is coming.
Now I’m waiting for a friend to arrive so we can trade farm eggs for pickles, and it’s all I can do to not curl up on the couch and drift away again. The good news, I guess, is that the sciatica is quite a lot better this morning. I’ll keep doing pigeon pose to stretch the hip out, and try not to sit too much today, which will be challenging with how tired I feel. Guess I should process the 25 more cucumbers I picked last night - maybe a batch of Korean kimchee pickles.
Not gonna nap. Nope. Definitely not gonna nap.